I was surprised; I didn’t expect a gift so early and so big.
My motivation for Christmas shopping has been low. In the last couple of years, we have opted for experiences rather than a lot of gifts, stuff we don’t need.
It’s been some of our favorite times as a family – in a cabin on the north shore, games, puzzles, making ornaments, ice skating, an escape room, X-C skiing, theatre, and dance performance, and family movies.
Since we cannot get together this year, we won’t be sharing a family experience.
This year has been eye-opening regarding how little we need to get by—food, toiletries, essential household items, including, of course, toilet paper. Even my wardrobe is simple since working from home. Nothing new and stylish, I prioritize comfort. Instead of “dress to impress,” it’s dress for coziness.
What more do I want and need?
It was a warm December night, I had been working at the computer all day, so I stepped outside. The freshness of the air made everything more vivid. Remnants of the summer garden were silhouetted in the moonlight. I love my yard and our house that we have crafted to make our own.
Our eldest son was in utero when we moved in. He just bought his own home 🏠 at the same time we are paying off ours. It’s exciting to see our boys exploring life, healthy, and seemingly less burdened by growing up than I did.
Taking stock of my life, I surprisingly thought, I have everything I want.
Wow, that’s a bold statement! I have everything I want! Besides our home, health, my family and husband is easy to love; I have been gifted with incredible career opportunities, especially lately with the SkyDancing Tantra Institute Directorship. We get to live our values of spreading love and choose many ways to care for the environment.
Really, I have everything I want? That can’t be true! I could feel my mind beginning to search for exceptions to “everything.” I spend a lot of time WANTING. Wanting a more organized house, wanting more time to do my writing, art, hang with my kids and friends, wanting the weeds out of my garden, wanting to travel, wanting the dog stains out of the carpet, and wanting a stress-free life.
But the clarity and completeness I felt didn’t account for those. There can always be MORE, BIGGER, NEWER, and BETTER. This moment was free from forward-thinking, to-do lists, incompleteness, and instead, I felt a lightness and satisfaction that I have actualized my dreams. My sense of fulfillment and recognition felt pure.
Such a gift to receive – realizing I have everything I want! And every time I try to recapture that moment, I laugh at myself; here I am, WANTING to feel it again, and wanting to share it with everyone! Even though we won’t be together for the holidays in the traditional way, nothing will ever take away what we have.
Wishing you peace these Holidays!
Love, Sara ~ and Thomas
(photo by Tim Mossholder, unsplash)