Energy

We’ve just returned from Bali after 11 extraordinary days with Margot Anand, founder of SkyDancing Tantra®, and the international SkyDancing community.

There were purification rituals beneath waterfalls, temple ceremonies, beautiful gardens, snorkeling through reefs filled with vibrant fish, laughter with old friends, and long conversations about life, love, awareness, and awakening.

Many times during the trip we thought, “We should write about this.”

And yet… we didn’t.

Projects paused. Emails were answered more slowly. Devices stayed tucked away more than usual.

Listening to our bodies, we simply couldn’t get ourselves to do anything that took us out of the experience.

Again and again, our bodies moved us toward rest, connection, friendship, beauty, slowness, and presence.

At first, part of us felt guilty about that. We are responsible people. We care deeply about our community and work. We like being responsive.

But there was another truth emerging underneath the guilt.

Behind every “no” was a deeper “yes.”

A yes to what nourishes us.
A yes to what restores us.
A yes to beauty.
A yes to connection.
A yes to being fully alive in the moment we were actually living.

So often, we override the body.

The mind says:
“Be productive.”“Answer faster.”
“Push through.”
“Don’t disappoint anyone.”
“Keep going.”

Meanwhile, the body whispers:
“Slow down.”
“Stay with this moment.”
“Take in this sunset.”
“Be with your friends.”
“Breathe.”

In Tantra, learning to listen to the body is not indulgence — it is awareness.

The body constantly informs us how we are. It reveals tension, exhaustion, openness, fear, joy, contraction, and aliveness long before the mind catches up.

But many of us have become trained to mistrust these signals. We push past fatigue. We override discomfort. We numb ourselves with distraction, stimulation, scrolling, busyness, food, or endless doing.

Sometimes we even lose touch with what we genuinely want.

One of the profound teachings of SkyDancing Tantra is that awareness begins by listening.

Not only to our thoughts — but to our sensations, breath, energy, and deeper impulses.

When we pause long enough to listen honestly, we may discover that the “no” we fear disappointing others with is actually protecting something sacred.

A “no” to overextending ourselves may be a “yes” to health.

A “no” to constant productivity may be a “yes” to creativity.

A “no” to distraction may be a “yes” to intimacy.

A “no” to rushing may be a “yes” to actually experiencing our lives.

This doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility or acting without care. True listening includes discernment and compassion. But it does mean becoming more honest about what genuinely supports our nervous systems, relationships, and well-being.

Bali reminded us how healing it is to fully arrive in the present moment.

To savor a meal instead of multitasking through it.

To feel water on the skin.
To laugh deeply with friends.To watch a sunset without immediately reaching for a phone.To sit quietly beside someone you love.

These moments are not separate from intimacy.

They are intimacy.

And perhaps this is one of the deepest forms of Tantra:
Not escaping life, but learning how to fully inhabit it.

“I was out of my comfort zone… and I’m so glad I did.”

We heard this more than once during our recent Art of Loving: An Introduction to SkyDancing Tantra weekend.

There’s something honest in that reflection.

Not overwhelm. Not pressure.
But a gentle stretching—into something new.

At some point, many of us feel that quiet pull—to grow, to feel more alive, to experience deeper connection. And yet, real change rarely happens from the comfort of the sofa. It asks something of us. A willingness to step just beyond the familiar.

That step doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be as simple as saying yes, showing up, and staying present with yourself.

Many people come to this work with curiosity… and also with questions:
Will I feel safe? Will I be expected to do things I don’t want to do? Will this be too much?

These are important questions. And they deserve clear answers.

What we continue to witness is that when a space is held with care, respect, and mindful consent, something different becomes possible. People don’t get pushed past their limits—they begin to listen to them.

From that place, growth happens naturally.

It’s a joy to witness the hard edges soften… and a natural brightness begin to shine through as the guards gently come down and trust builds.

This past weekend, participants shared how meaningful it was to explore at their own pace… to feel supported in choice… and to discover a sense of connection that felt both new and surprisingly comfortable.

“So much HEART & SAFETY here! I most enjoyed the freedom to do what I needed to do in order to stay true to myself; no forced connections.” ~ Keli Owens

“If you’re on the fence, go for it. The space is well held with plenty of support… a nourishing reminder of why these practices matter.” – David R.

There’s a difference between being pushed out of your comfort zone…
and being invited into your growth.

In a supportive environment, you might try something new, speak a truth you’ve been holding, or connect in a more present, embodied way. And often, what people discover is a quiet confidence:
“I can trust myself here.”

We’re deeply committed to creating a space that feels both safe and gently stretching—a place where you can slow down, listen to your body, and develop trust in your own signals. A space where consent, choice, and respect are lived experiences.

From there, something begins to open.

You may find yourself expressing parts of you that haven’t had space before… discovering new ways of relating… or simply feeling more at home in yourself. Building confidence in your ability to navigate connections and boundaries. Reconnecting with your natural capacity for presence, pleasure, and aliveness.

And often, something surprising happens:
healing begins to unfold on its own.

Not always through analyzing the past or retelling old stories, but through new, embodied experiences of safety, connection, and choice. When the body feels supported, it naturally begins to soften, reorganize, and open.

That trust is what allows deeper intimacy, presence, and connection to unfold—both with yourself and with others.

If you’ve been curious about this path, consider this: growth doesn’t have to be overwhelming to be meaningful. It can be grounded, respectful, even joyful.

And sometimes, all it takes is a willingness to take one step beyond the familiar.

Are you feeling bored and looking for that next high?

Would you like to shift from seeking to feeling fulfillment?

We live in a culture of desiring more and more. We’re encouraged to seek happiness in new relationships, exciting careers, fresh adventures, and material possessions. Esther Perel speaks to this modern phenomenon: where once we left jobs or relationships because we were unhappy, now we leave because we believe we could be happier.

But here’s the twist: the ecstasy you’re searching for isn’t hiding in external changes. As Margot Anand beautifully puts it:

“Ecstasy is already within you. You need not look for it outside.”

The truth is, living ecstatically isn’t about chasing adrenaline highs or peak experiences—it’s about awakening to the richness of what’s already here.

You may have heard that before. I had for years, and now I live it, knowing that at any moment, I can feel ecstatic. I can choose the way I feel and not need my environment to make me happy.

Why Routine Feels Anti-Ecstatic

Routines are the backbone of security, but they can stifle our creativity and desire. In relationships especially, routine can dull the spark, making life feel predictable and monotonous.

Variety, or the allure of “newness,” stirs our senses and awakens eros—the life force that fuels passion and vitality.

But before you rush to change everything, consider this:

What if newness doesn’t require leaving, changing, or escaping? What if it’s a shift in perception?

Here is an invitation to explore how this works.

Cultivate Newness: Rediscover the Moment

When was the last time you truly joined a moment with fresh eyes?

Imagine watching a movie you’ve seen before. One approach is to anticipate each scene, disengaged and half-bored. Another is to dive in, noticing subtle layers you missed before. Relationships, routines, and everyday life are no different.

“Life has limitless layers. The art is to live the exact moment a thousand times and see it as a unique experience.”

Here’s a practice to try:

Join Each Moment Exercise

  1. Pick an object in your home—a chair, a mug, or a plant.
  2. Pretend you’re seeing it for the first time.
  3. Observe its color, texture, and how light dances on its surface.
  4. Ask yourself: What’s new here?

When we bring this beginner’s mind to relationships and life, newness becomes abundant.

The Science of Newness

Did you know that novelty stimulates dopamine, the brain chemical linked to pleasure and motivation? This isn’t about chasing the new—it’s about breaking mental patterns that keep us stuck in autopilot.

Example: Think of a song you adore. You could listen to it a thousand times and still feel its magic. Why? Because your presence keeps it alive.

J.O.Y. – Join, Open, Yield

Living ecstatically invites us to:

  1. Join each moment: Let go of what you think you know.
  2. Open to the unexpected: Curiosity fuels connection.
  3. Yield to what’s here: Surrender the need for “better” and savor the now.

An Invitation to Awaken

Ecstasy doesn’t mean life is perfect—it means life is alive. You don’t need a new job, a different partner, or a bigger house to feel it. You need only to embrace this truth:

“You will never again be here. Every moment holds the promise of birth and death—a once-in-a-lifetime experience if we allow it.”

So, how will you meet this moment?

We invite you to watch our recent free masterclass:

>>>The Art of Ecstasy: 3 Steps to Transcend Routine

Move from mundane routines to a life rich with wonder, presence, and fulfillment.

We had the pleasure of being guests on the Super States: Practices of TRANCE-formation Podcast hosted by Joshua Peters.

In this episode, titled “Exploring Tantra for Personal Growth with Sara and Thomas Stout,” we delved into the transformative practices of Tantra and its profound potential for personal growth.

You can listen to the podcast episode here:

 

During our conversation with Joshua, we covered a range of topics that can offer valuable insights into Tantra and its benefits:

  • Understanding the essence of Tantra and its principles
  • Exploring SkyDancing Tantra and its unique approach
  • Discovering the three keys to ecstasy within Tantra
  • Unveiling the two fundamental tools of Tantra practice
  • Exploring how Tantra strengthens trust on multiple levels
  • Learning ways to initiate body-based practices for personal growth
  • Simple practices that invite more aliveness into your life
  • Exploring Tantra both individually and within the context of partnership
  • Guidance on determining if Tantra aligns with your personal journey

We believe this podcast episode serves as a valuable overview of Tantra for those curious about its potential.

Want to know a Super Hot Turn-On?
One of the hottest and most long-standing turn-ons – is being met.

The first time Thomas and I met each other, I felt that he was too intense. I lacked confidence and thought I would not stand up for what was important to me. Our balance was off.

The opposite, having a partner who was a pushover, was not satisfying either. Being with someone who was grounded in their truth and had enough backbone to stand up to me was a turn-on. 

With my growing confidence and force as a woman, I didn’t want to worry about overshadowing my partner or in any way, needing to stay small.

I wanted someone who could handle all of me, my crazy ideas, my full expression and passion, and expand and grow with me.

It wasn’t until five years after our original meeting, when our paths crossed again that I loved how Thomas “met me.” I could be big, strong, passionate, expressive, and he didn’t get small and crumble.

And, it’s hard to admit, but I appreciated that he didn’t put up with my shit, like when I was over-controlling (don’t tell him). Or when I undermined my potential.

He met me:
Emotionally:
• Lovingly supported me to express myself honestly, vulnerably, and accountably.
• When we began to sweat the small stuff, he’d lighten the mood. Or if I’d try to minimize something important, Thomas would kindly listen for the deeper truth.

Intellectually:
• Inspired new thoughts and continued personal growth.

Spirituality:
• Respectfully challenged me to believe in myself.
• Considered higher consciousness and the greater good.

Physically and sexually:
• Playfully wrestled with me, often ending in a passionate love fest.
• Sensitively moved us beyond mediocrity and kept us out of ruts.
• Reliably held me in his masculine power, allowing me to surrender into receptivity.

Being met balances power and surrender, yang and yin.

How do you like to be met?
Do you like slow, gentle caresses?
Or do you like to be ravished intensely and feel the strength of your lover?
And possibly a combination of softness and firmness turns you on.

Most of us need to feel met to feel passion. We want to feel our partner responds to our level of intensity and challenges us.

After 35 years together, I still love feeling the strength of Thomas’ body against me, his grip that matches my heat.

From Thomas’ side, he says,
“When I start to go down a rabbit hole, Sara listens to my struggle but doesn’t go down with me.

When we feel secure in our relationship, we have more intense play. She may not go skydiving with me, but she’s there as a support, watching and cheering me on.”

How are you meeting yourself?

Are you communicating your range of needs in your life?

As we reflect upon our recent weekend retreat, The Art of Loving: An Introduction to SkyDancing Tantra, we are deeply moved by the authenticity that permeated our time together. It warms our hearts to know that our students appreciated our commitment to authenticity. We didn’t expect that acknowledgment since it’s just who we are – a value that lies at the core of our shared journey.

Authenticity is the art of living without masks or pretenses, allowing our true selves to shine forth in all our rawness and vulnerability. It’s about embracing our humanness—the messy, imperfect, and beautifully flawed aspects of who we are—and finding beauty and strength in our authenticity.

Throughout our retreat and beyond, we’ve witnessed the transformative power of authenticity.

It’s in the moments of shared laughter and tears, the honest conversations that flow from the depths of our souls, and the genuine connections that form when we show up as our true selves.

In a world that often prizes perfection and conformity, authenticity is a radical act of self-love and self-acceptance. It’s about owning our stories, embracing our uniqueness, and finding liberation in our truth.

Authenticity is not about being unfiltered and rude.

Self-expression without sensitivity of impact is reactive and unaligned with your soul’s truth.

Authenticity isn’t always easy. It requires courage to show up as we are, even when it feels uncomfortable or vulnerable. But in embracing our authenticity, we create space for deeper connections, meaningful experiences, and profound growth.

“I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I found so much freedom, space, expansion, love, and acceptance, which allowed me to expand my love with myself and my partner. Thank you.“   Marc

Let’s welcome authenticity as the norm, inviting voices and expressions of our uniqueness.

It begins with each of us welcoming our contrary and unexpressed selves to be present. In this moment, the question that we inquire – What is my authentic self now?

In most Tantra programs, there are opportunities for pleasure, fun, community, and personal growth.

What makes SkyDancing® Tantra stand out?

SkyDancing Tantra supports higher, conscious living from which a sense of freedom and full self-expression flourishes. Some Tantra schools have a reputation for wildness and hedonistic activities. Others are meditative and dismiss the body. SkyDancing supports the body and consciousness. Freedom without consciousness can lead to harmful choices. When one develops tools of awareness beyond the mind, they are less likely to compromise their boundaries but instead, stay on their truly aligned path and find their grounded freedom and ecstasy.

People love Margot Anand and her books. Margot is world-renowned author and teacher who brought Tantra to the west and has made it accessible to everyone through her step-by-step methods. It’s a gift to receive Margot’s transmissions through SkyDancing teachers.

SkyDancing Tantra is a well-established Institute, supporting students for over 32 years. It teaches ancient Tantric practices and incorporates modern-day cultural and psychological considerations.

People trust SkyDancing Tantra for its high ethical integrity. 
In the world of programs on sexuality and spirituality, it is tragic how many other institutes have received reports of abuse of power and sexual violations, SkyDancing Tantra Institutes are highly respected and trusted around the world. And the institute continues learning the most current trauma-informed practices and refines its policies as needed.

When people want maturity, they appreciate the depth of teaching and accessibility for all ages and diversity.

Spirituality is supported on this path of awakening.
SkyDancing Tantra invites individual expression of spirituality and holds reverence for all of life and human existence. Oneness is the basic principle and through awareness and vitality one awakens to wholeness and a non-separate sense of self.

All relationship configurations are supported. 
Whether wanting to dive deep into profound intimacy as a couple or explore the expansion of self, alone or with others, all are welcome.

Feel the quality of heart-centered presence with SkyDancing Tantra. It is possible to experience profound acceptance and love more than you imagine.

Teachers receive extensive training for over three years and maintain their ongoing personal practice.

There are many reasons why SkyDancing Tantra is recognized at one of the premier Tantra Institutes. If you have any questions about the Institute the program, we welcome curiosity.

Live in a state of curiosity and courageousness, be open to inquiring.

These are inspirations from one of our favorite books, The Way of Liberation by Adyashanti. 

If we open our awareness to what IS, instead of what we wish it was or what we want to make it, we live in a state of completeness. There is no need, no longing for something different. A sense of fullness satisfies our hunger in each moment.  

Through opening to inquiry, we expand our sensory input and allow the richness of life to flow in. 

Recall the innocence and curiosity of childhood. You may have been mesmerized by a bug or playing in a mud puddle. The rest of the world disappears. Nothing else matters. There is no right and wrong, no success or failure.

Free yourself to find comfort in not knowing. “I don’t know.”

Our expectations confine us on a path of fulfillment or disappointment. And do we ever reach complete satisfaction?

Live in a state of curiosity without judgment, without qualifying bad or good.

If your mind hijacks your experiences, invite inquiry within oneself. Come back to listening through expansiveness instead of hyper-focusing on details. 

Expand your field of awareness as if you are listening for the origin of the most precious sounds. But beyond hearing, include all of your senses – and being. Here you will find openness. And fullness in your expansiveness.

Take in awe of the whole night sky.

To be happy is to live as the unknown. Adyashanti

 

Photo by Fermin Rodriguez Penelas

My life, as I have known it, is unravelling, is shifting and transforming at lightning speed. This past month a confluence of circumstances has collided and had me spinning in a new direction. To where?

For 21 years, I felt stuck in a job that, while it fulfilled my obsessive need for security, it stifled my full expression and passion. For years I couldn’t figure out how to let go of the corporate trap of income and medical insurance.

This job has also limited my travel and Tantra studies. Even though I was a magician, arranging chunks of time away, it became increasingly harder to meet the ridiculous productivity and performance standards, and I cared too much. It sucked the creativity and ability to thrive from my bones.

September was a whirlwind. First, an expansive trip studying and teaching SkyDancing Tantra in France and Belgium. It was such an honor to teach alongside Margot Anand, the founder of SkyDancing Tantra.

Thomas and I celebrated our 30th anniversary and 10 years since we started studying Tantra.

We were home for four days before we jumped back on the plane to achieve my dream of teaching, what I consider, one of the most life-changing experiences available. Cycle 1 of the Love and Ecstasy Training cracked me open ten years ago. And since then, an excitement awoke within me that is hard to contain.

Teaching this course was delayed 1 1/2 years due to Covid, so we were more than ready to gather in this magnificent energy and community of people who wished to evolve through this healing journey.

At the end of the week, during the final sharing circle, Thomas was in tears listening to all the beautiful stories of openings people experienced. Mika, my co-leader, and I were thrilled teaching in a forum that nurtured face-to-face, heart-to-heart, loving connection.

I knew my life was about to shift again.

After great consternation about how to put the time, money, and energy into promoting our Love Passionately online Coaching business three days before the LET course started, I made a brave choice to invest significantly in this dream. I wasn’t sure how it would fit together, but I knew I was more worried it would not ever happen.

The next day, I unexpectedly received notice that because of Covid, I would no longer be working for that organization that had provided comfort with security and had also held me back. My security was unravelling.

I felt both relieved and in shock. I had been asking for the Universe to help me decide about this job and manifest my dreams, so here it was, I received a kick in the ass and an open door simultaneously.

My friend, Vicki, said, “Sara, You’re letting go of the side of the pool, aren’t you?” Yes, I am! Although it feels more like I let go of a pier as I set sail, freely out to sea.

I still have my private practice and had to decide not to load up that schedule. It would be too easy to continue the same pattern by leaving one job and exchanging for a similar over-commitment, holding on to security in exchange for fulfillment.

My life has revolved around this intense schedule for so many years; what will it be like to no longer have to say, I can’t because I have to go to work? My schedule is unravelling.

I had dreamed of this freedom for years, and it’s truly hard to believe it’s here. I feel excited and nervous, wondering how it will play out?

Can I trust the universe and all the signs that this is my true path?

During my manifestation meditation practice this week, instead of guiding the process with my scripted steps, I let my chakras and body lead. It was astonishing to witness my body unravelling and unwinding as it twisted and contorted, stretching and releasing years of tension. I was in awe, watching how my body knows how to heal itself when I give it space. 

My life is unravelling from the ties that bind it. As I handed my boss my computer and badge, I was surprised that the anxiety that I had imagined would be there all these years was completely absent. I feel so high with the excitement of what is possible; I am buzzing!

Unravelling must occur before we can shape the bow we desire.

Thomas and I launched our first couples coaching program and love seeing the smiles and yumminess as these couples discover new ways of being together.

What will come from this long-overdue freedom?

~ By Sara

Harbin Hot Springs

Everyone needs a place like this.
A place where pressure to be busy and accomplish disappears.
A place where the mind quiets.
A place where words are not needed.
A place where everyone is welcomed with unity and respect.

For most of us, our surroundings are cluttered with projects just waiting to be attended. When we try to relax, the papers on the coffee table need attention, the dust bunnies are nipping at our heels, the unfinished projects ask to be completed, and the unanswered emails call. It’s as if once we have been active in a space, it holds active energy. The challenge is to override the intensity that’s alive in order to get to a deeper level of quiet.

Going on vacation is one way we try to get away from the noise of doing. “What did you do on your vacation?“ most people will ask. Even on Facebook, we post the sights we have seen, the food we’ve eaten and the many adventures we’ve taken. Rarely do you say, “I’ve had the most wonderful vacation, doing nothing.“ What if the greatest adventure is just being? Not doing anything, just being and having a place that facilitates that delicious state. 

Last week, I was able to return to my sweet spot. A place where I first learned the depth that can be experienced of profound letting go and inner peace. When I name this place (for those of you that it is familiar) notice your visceral reaction……..

Harbin Hot Springs. And specifically, the sacred waters of the warm meditation pool.

For 3 1/2 years, while recovering from the fire that destroyed it, I have longed to return. I anticipated this venture might invoke many responses and still I had a lovely surprise.

The surprise was not the blackened trees that lined the road up to Harbin. It wasn’t the tears of grief for the devastation of what made up it’s character, lush greenery, old lodging structures, and the Temple. The surprise wasn’t the joy of seeing life sprouting from the trunk of the big fig tree that had canopied the warm pool, nor the compassionate Quan Yin statue sitting serenely in it’s spot. My surprise came while blissfully meditating in the pool, one thing made it more sweet, Thomas. 

I nestled against his warm chest. With the body-neutral water already dissolving the edges of our skin, our bodies melted together. Without thought, our breath synchronized and the words came to me, “I have missed who we are, when we are here.”

The noise of our busy lives disappears in these waters and tension between us is replaced with a tinge of sensual excitement. We discovered a newness about each other here. We were initiated into the magic of SkyDancing Tantra at Harbin. For a moment, we returned to innocence, curious, love struck. What could be more lovely than calm, pleasurable excitement?

The waters of Harbin flow. 
The heart of Harbin beats.

Harbin’s a special place. So special, I feel it’s presence in my bones. Although it has changed due to the fire in 2015, each of us carry it’s essence alive within us. During moments of distress when I seek refuge, I visualize walking down the steps leading into the warmth of the meditation pool. Aaahhhh.

Until we soak in the waters again, Thomas and I find elements of deep connection by dropping into our state of being every week when we create our Tantric practice of Sacred Space.

~ Sara

Harbin Hot Springs Entrance

Establish a sacred place in your home or nature to visit for reflection, meditation and quiet. Savor these times, drinking them into your whole being. The real gift to yourself, is returning to your personal place of being. Return again and again, with mind, body and spirit, either visualizing how your body felt, the sensory details and emotions, or in person.