emotional support

What are you waiting for?

The right moment, a sign, a companion, enough money, free time, or to not feel nervous?

Waiting is one of the quickest paths to regret. 

During our recent conversation on our tandem bike (where we often appreciate our life and each other the most), I told Thomas that I feel no regrets with him. That is not an easy state to achieve together. It takes a lot of intention and coordination of multiple desires.

Of course, like any long-term relationship, there are still harsh tones and words I wish I hadn’t said or affections I wish I had expressed, but primarily, my hopes and dreams feel fulfilled. There are no looming unmet needs.

Living fully in the moment is an essential tool for a happy life. 

For many years, we could not have said we were living without regrets.

It was easier to focus on why I couldn’t do or have something rather than be living as much as possible. When I thought I was waiting for more money and more free time, what I was waiting for – was to trust life. I didn’t believe in abundance or that I deserved to receive what I wanted.

Tantra helped me listen to my desires and dreams and live in a state of trust and abundance. I could also access the feeling of joy and pleasure around me and within me throughout my day.

I wasn’t waiting for something outside myself to make me happy.

This week, as I recoat our wooden kitchen counter, I am struck by how much I enjoy the golden color and glistening grain. My fingers in the soil weeding the flower bed feels so nourishing. I pause and appreciate all the greens, yellows, and colorful leaves just budding.

We know it can feel like we’re waiting for our time to travel or do what we want when our children or work can be consuming. But even with a busy schedule, there are choices for fulfillment.

Thomas has been my best teacher for making time for pleasure. When we had little babies, I was up to my elbows in diapers and didn’t think I had time for myself, he persuaded me to take a night off each week to take an art class. Coming home happy and excited gave me energy for the rest of the week. And for him.

Having future dreams and intentions doesn’t mean you are waiting. It means focusing on what you have and trusting that joy will happen or can happen as it becomes more important than our current choices. Thomas wants to work less so he can bike and relax more. I’d love to have more time for writing and art.

Is it time to no longer wait?

Can the answer be Now?

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and not have lived. 

“The one that can not do something is not the real you.”

~ Margot Anand

 

Carpe diem ~ Seize the moment.

By Sara Stout

In most Tantra programs, there are opportunities for pleasure, fun, community, and personal growth.

What makes SkyDancing® Tantra stand out?

SkyDancing Tantra supports higher, conscious living from which a sense of freedom and full self-expression flourishes. Some Tantra schools have a reputation for wildness and hedonistic activities. Others are meditative and dismiss the body. SkyDancing supports the body and consciousness. Freedom without consciousness can lead to harmful choices. When one develops tools of awareness beyond the mind, they are less likely to compromise their boundaries but instead, stay on their truly aligned path and find their grounded freedom and ecstasy.

People love Margot Anand and her books. Margot is world-renowned author and teacher who brought Tantra to the west and has made it accessible to everyone through her step-by-step methods. It’s a gift to receive Margot’s transmissions through SkyDancing teachers.

SkyDancing Tantra is a well-established Institute, supporting students for over 32 years. It teaches ancient Tantric practices and incorporates modern-day cultural and psychological considerations.

People trust SkyDancing Tantra for its high ethical integrity. 
In the world of programs on sexuality and spirituality, it is tragic how many other institutes have received reports of abuse of power and sexual violations, SkyDancing Tantra Institutes are highly respected and trusted around the world. And the institute continues learning the most current trauma-informed practices and refines its policies as needed.

When people want maturity, they appreciate the depth of teaching and accessibility for all ages and diversity.

Spirituality is supported on this path of awakening.
SkyDancing Tantra invites individual expression of spirituality and holds reverence for all of life and human existence. Oneness is the basic principle and through awareness and vitality one awakens to wholeness and a non-separate sense of self.

All relationship configurations are supported. 
Whether wanting to dive deep into profound intimacy as a couple or explore the expansion of self, alone or with others, all are welcome.

Feel the quality of heart-centered presence with SkyDancing Tantra. It is possible to experience profound acceptance and love more than you imagine.

Teachers receive extensive training for over three years and maintain their ongoing personal practice.

There are many reasons why SkyDancing Tantra is recognized at one of the premier Tantra Institutes. If you have any questions about the Institute the program, we welcome curiosity.

Thomas and I were a bit giddy with anticipation for what we were calling our 10th Honeymoon, a getaway in the Czech Republic and the beautiful city of Prague.

Our tantalizing excitement died quickly when on the first day, Thomas got food poisoning and became more intimate with the porcelain bowl than with me. I ventured to art museums and toured the historical sites on my own. That is when I was awake and upright instead of horizontal and goofy-headed from jet lag.

After the food poisoning and sleepiness subsided, we individually began wrestling with old personal demons. We felt more like we were in service as emotional support animals than intimates. There is an art to standing beside our loved one when they are in pain and trying not to fix it. “I love you, and can you get over this so we can get on with getting it on?

Just as our desire for each other began to sync, our health sunk. Lots of aches, fatigue, congestion, coughing, and sweats. The diagnosis came as “Covid.” We had no interest in touch even though we were close together 24/7.

We isolated ourselves in a farmhouse outside of Prague. The symptoms were similar to mild flu, so we tried to get outside for fresh air when we had the energy. The colorful spring blossoms brightened our day.

We laughed about trying to maintain some minimal level of attraction and not get tired of too much of each other. It’s funny that when we’re camping, grisly facial hair growth and manly smells from an active day can be a turn-on for me. Reduced hygiene during sickness, not so much. I’m sure I was no Goddess of Delight.

My business coach told me this week that the time that you need positive thinking the most is running a business. I would argue that it is a long-term relationship. Focusing on the positive, what you love about your partner, is tested over and over.

Even if we were hot for each other, what is it about European beds that even when you’re given a luxurious king-sized bed, they give you two single duvet/comforters? Are they trying to maintain some degree of separation?

We can’t dive underneath the sheets together. First of all, there is no top sheet. And second, we have to manage our movements to not create a gap and have our knee, ass, or some other body part poke out and get cold.


At least we aren’t accusing each other of hogging all the covers. It becomes a game of cooperation with both of us trying to maintain enough overlap to stay warm and not too much to have two thick layers on us and overheat.

The silver lining that shone through during this non-erotic getaway was moments of emotional vulnerability. We so appreciated how each of us listened when the other was hurting. We paused to excavate our conversations during points of tension. I’m not sure that we cleared any deep abscess, but the attention we shared during the exploration was healing.

Ironically, even though we didn’t have our typical romantic time away, something was attractive and bonding about getting through this together.

Thank you beloved, for a not-so-sexy, loving time together!

From Sara