Tantric Massage for Women


By Shashi Solluna


Tantric massage is becoming a big thing.

For men, the ubiquitous “happy ending massage” has been around in many societies for a long time, though mostly for relief of built-up sexual tension rather than any kind of tantric experience. So for men to go for a tantric massage is not a big leap of the imagination. It’s simply the next step.

But on the other hand… for a woman to go and receive a massage for her sexual pleasure from a therapist she doesn’t know is a pretty new concept in most places.

Yet it is taking off, and in tantric circles many people have learned some sort of tantric massage technique. It is now reasonably easy for a woman to book a tantric massage in areas where there is a lot of Tantra. In some countries it is legal and can be found in the bigger cities. And in a few places you can even find tantric spas with a full menu of delights (Germany and Czech Republic seem to be the leaders in this respect).

However, because this is a new trend, there is still a lack of understanding and information that can be really important for a woman to know.

Probably the biggest most important factor to understand is that there is a big difference between tantric massage for pleasure and tantric massage for therapy. This is a vital point to consider on ones quest to find a tantric massage.


A week of Bliss with Margot Anand

What a tremendous opportunity to drink in the wisdom from the “Voice of the Origins”, Margot Anand, founder of SkyDancing Tantra, who brought Tantra to the west.  Last week, we had the honor of sitting at her side, as assistants of the Love & Ecstasy Training (LET) Cycle 3 at Mayacamas Ranch in California.

Building upon the tools we learned in LET 1 & 2, which focused on healing and pleasure, LET 3 brought us into an expanded spiritual dimension. Feeling the healing powers of the Diamond Mind Mantra was incredible.  
The week culminated in the Wave of Bliss, an amazing dance of energy and sensuality.  It was also wonderful to witness participants receive their certification of completion, several of whom travelled from frigid Minnesota. Very powerful indeed!

With the upcoming release of Margot’s book, Love, Sex and Awakening, she is resuming her teaching internationally.  During this week together, she expressed interest in coming to Minnesota in March for a workshop and book signing.  What an opportunity that will be!!  With short notice, if anyone has a venue, or is interested in helping coordinate this event, let us know.  We will keep all of you posted as the details get finalized.

As SkyDancing Tantra Teachers, we have read many of Margot’s books, studied her work for years and heard stories of her brilliance.  Experiencing her teachings in person was even more of a thrill.  As one participant summarized, “I will not experience in 5 lifetimes all of what Margot knows.”

A few quotes from Margot:

“Maybe the bliss is behind the place where there is no bliss?  Bliss is always available if you listen and be silent.”

(If you are discouraged that you are not feeling more sensations or seeing more energy),“Don’t focus on what you’re not feeling, focus on presence, now. Be curious. Look at what you are feeling.”

“One of the keys of Tantra: Can you be desireless at the height of desire?”

With ever growing respect for this body of work, we look forward to continue sharing it with you!

December 22, 2016

Active Meditation

Why are Active Meditations an important part of SkyDancing Tantra?

This question is like asking, “Why is cleaning and house repair a part of home owning?” Active Meditations are a form of decluttering your psyche and healing old wounds. Through breathing and movement you clear out the things that get in the way of loving and expressing yourself.

Most people are not fond of house cleaning. That’s where Active Meditations differ, in that it’s a wonderful experience. You don’t have to do all the work. It’s like going on vacation and returning to a home that feels more welcoming and beautiful than ever before. Most of the process is at an unconscious level. If emotions do surface, you’re encouraged to notice them and just let them pass. There is no need to analyze anything or to try to change them. Your body carries the wisdom to take care of itself if you just provide the opportunity.

When Margot Anand created SkyDancing Tantra, she had travelled the world studying many different teachings of Tantra, psychology, metaphysics and spiritual leaders. She understood the benefit of moving while meditating. You are more able to stay present with the experience and release stored emotions. We begin every morning with an Active Meditation during the Ecstatic Living Institute workshops.

When people talk about traditional meditation, so many say, “Oh I can’t meditate,  my mind is all over the place. I just can’t sit still and focus.” Exactly! With Active Meditation you don’t have to sit still and focus. You get to move and go where your experience takes you. Yet, you still get the benefits of meditation – mindful awareness, expansiveness and inner peacefulness.

The richness of Active Meditation is that every session is unique and personal. Each meditation engages on many levels, so as you clear and open, additional opportunities present themselves. You can benefit from a regular practice. Just as you might from a regular yoga practice.  Common responses are – feeling more emotional presence, increased confidence and building a deeper connection to your divine self and others.

After clearing out your home, you realize that without all that stuff, there is an expansive playroom waiting for you.  Active Meditations create more spaciousness for intimacy.  That is SkyDancing Tantra!

Your Life Cannot Go Wrong


In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you – for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration – even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life – the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you’ll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love – even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where ‘something goes wrong’ is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

Jeff Foster www.lifewithoutacenter.com

Transforming Lives One Tantra Workshop at a Time

A friend of ours wrote this blog post about what it’s like to be in a SkyDancing Tantra Intensive, a week long course where you’re encouraged to go deep, confront any demons about yourself, ask for love and support.  It’s a beautiful process and she does a great job of describing it.  Check it out:

“Picture this… You are in a room with 28 strangers on day one of a seven day intensive Tantra workshop.   You don’t know what’s going to happen, you don’t know the people in the room, you don’t know what baggage they are bringing with them, and how events are going to unfold. You only know that you are on some sort of journey and you prepare yourself for the ride ahead of you…”

Read more: http://powerofpleasure.com/transforming-lives-one-tantra-workshop-time/


In sports, when it comes down to the last second of a game for a player to make a shot or miss, he often feels like a hero or a failure, responsible for losing the game. Increase the pressure by making it the last game of the season, the last game of the boy’s high school career and the state championship game. This is what my son faced last week.  He was one of five players in a shootout to win or lose the Minnesota State High School Soccer Championship.

As I’m watching him go through this, I recall when I was a senior in high school. The worst year of my life. The school I had attended since third grade closed that summer and for my senior year I was in a new school. I went from a class of 50 where I knew everyone in the school to a class of 250.  And I knew one person. In that transition, my four-year relationship with my boyfriend also ended.  But I had my family. I thought. At Christmas break, when my older siblings were home from college, my parents shocked me with the announcement  that they would be separating, immediately.

Through high school I had been working at a movie theater. After the movies I’d hang out with my coworkers and there were opportunities to party. During my time of distress, it sounded like a good idea to me. I chose to drink and try some drugs.

In the spring my sport season started. I was a runner and was used to doing well. But that was a small school and at this level I was untested. I went out for track and practiced with the team. I didn’t know if I could race down the track over the hurdles and have a time that was good enough. The morning of the first track meet of the season, I quit. I quit, because I was scared, alone and couldn’t face not doing well.

Back to my son, Jared. Ever since he was four, he was always kicking the soccer ball, if not on the field, we would pass back and forth on the sidelines. We would keep a soccer ball in the trunk of our car so we could stop at any soccer field and Jared could “shoot on the net .” Then hours and years of practice to get to this game.

In the semi-finals of the state tournament he played really well and the coach moved him to a position where he would defend against the attacking strikers. Wayzata beat the first ranked, undefeated team Eastridge.

In the championship game it was cold and windy, we had the wind at our back and scored in the first half. Anoka scored in the second half. The teams went through two ten minute overtimes and still remained tied. In a soccer tournament, to determine the winners, they go to a shootout where five players of each team are chosen to shoot at the net with just the goalie defending. Jared was one of those five. The first three players of each team all scored. Then Jared came to the line. He kicked, the ball hit the upper crossbar  – and bounced out. He fell to his knees, collapsing in disappointment. The rest of the players made their shots and Anoka went on to win.

The team was supportive of Jared. The community was supportive. And I hope he felt support from his family. He didn’t want to talk about it for a couple of days but now he can and went to go to the soccer banquet to celebrate their success of getting 2nd in the state.

After the game, during my meditation, I had an image come to me. It was of Jared as an adult leader or coach. He stood talk, confident and erect, referring back to this challenging time in a meaningful way.

Over the years I have gradually left behind that timid teenager. Since I have been doing Tantra, I have jettisoned into another level of empowerment. I have been stepping up.  For public speaking, for taking more of a leadership role, for expressing my feelings more vulnerably and bringing more passion into my life. When Jared dared to step up to that line, he became my hero. He honorably faced one of the hardest challenges that an athlete of his age can face.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is hard to fail, but is worse to have not tried to succeed.”



Set It Free

I look forward to going to my brother’s cabin for our annual family gathering. After seeing clients in the morning, I packed the car to head out. In support of my husband’s biking wishes, he’d left hours before.

The plan was that Thomas would bike 60 miles and then we would switch. He would drive the last 30 and I would bike. I was looking forward to the bike ride and physically moving my body since I sit indoors for my work all week. The car ride started feeling long and then I got stuck in the Minnesota Friday-going-to-the-cabin traffic. I sat at the Stillwater bridge for 20 minutes.

Text messages from Thomas started coming through. He was feeling pretty good and considering that he might be able to bike all the way. What he didn’t tell me at the time was, of course he wouldn’t bike beyond what we had agreed because he was going to support me biking too. The next message was that he was in Amery, Wisconsin. That’s getting pretty close to the cabin. “When’s my turn?,” I wondered.  This is the first year I’ve even gotten the option of biking. He usually rides the whole distance and I load up the kids, the stuff and meet them at the cabin.

Remember now, my mantra is that I’m not going to work so hard. I made easier meals, I got some help loading the car, and I was also going to bike. A 30 mile bike ride may sound like work to many people but for me it’s rejuvenating to be outside in nature exercising.

Finally, we worked it out and in Amery I got on my bike with about 25 miles to go to the cabin. The funk I’ve been in for the last few hours faded quickly as I started pedaling, feeling my own power and the wind flowing by. “Responsible for nobody else, nothing else and with whatever I wanted to do,” I thought.

Thomas drove back a couple times to help me find shortcuts and avoid dirt roads. Then I was on my own, weaving through the back country roads, heading towards Cumberland.

Laying on the side of the road was a beautiful bald eagle. Wings spread out, feathers intact and fairly recently dead. I got off my bike and automatically put my hands in the namaste position, honoring this incredibly majestic bird. Feeling sad for it’s death and yet grateful for it’s presence here on my trek.  I wanted to take a few of the feathers to hang on my wall but had no way to carry them carefully on my bike. I vowed to come back later.

My creative mind began to work and I imagined hanging some feathers in a dreamcatcher on my bedroom wall. About 10 miles down the road I found a beautiful snapping turtle shell. It was about 12 inches in diameter and had been cleaned out by insects. Only the shell and the bones were remaining. I quickly added this to my creative ideas and picked up the shell wanting it to be part of my dreamcatcher. Unfortunately, it became more of a windcatcher. As I was going down a big hill, it caught the wind and part of it cracked off. I desperately hung onto it wanting to preserve what I could. Biking with one hand, holding a large turtle shell, is not easy. About 5 miles later I started up a big incline. It was too much work. I couldn’t hold it and bike. I couldn’t carry the additional stress of trying to preserve this crumbling shell. Was I really going to make something with it or was it going to be additional clutter in my home waiting for attention? The excitement of finding it had turned to a burden. In a rush of relief, I threw it like a Frisbee out into the woods, screaming and then sobbing, “Set it free, set it free, set it free, set it free!”

I cried for the eagle, I cried for the snapping turtle, I cried for my client who recently overdosed on drugs, and I cried for myself –  I so desperately want to be set free. Free from living as only a shell of who I know I can be. I want my inner fire to burn. I want my light to shine! The image that I had seen during one of my meditations became clear: inside my shell there’s a fiery layer of passion and intensity. Inside that, a center of spiritual light and calmness. During that meditation I had felt something I never had experienced, a sense of complete peacefulness. If I live a mindful Tantra path, I can live my life fully! Completely! Consistently!

Crying and releasing layers of emotion as I biked. Feeling the fire and power within me surge and grow with confidence. The subtle ways in which I adapt myself to situations exhaust me. I want to live authentically and be who I am meant to be –  proudly. I need to work less hard on pleasing others. I need to feel less responsible for others. To set myself free!

Then Thomas started texting me, “Where are you?!” I had been weaving myself through the country roads taking a circuitous route and the sun was beginning to set. I had mixed feelings about being rescued from my long bike ride with the car.  I was enjoying the time to myself, feeling emotionally raw and was hoping to bike all the way to the cabin. Yet, I had already biked over 30 miles and biking was beginning to feel like work, so I was ready to be supported.

Thomas got out of the car to help me load the bike. He was irritated and saying in a loud voice, “I am so frustrated…  ”  I didn’t hear it. It didn’t sound supportive to me so I lashed out and screamed at him. I’m not even sure what I said but the main message was: ” I’m not responsible for your frustration, your feelings or anybody anymore!” Who was I really trying to convince? I’m sure he didn’t hear my words either, just my fury.

That’s one way to have the shell come off. It’s not always so attractive underneath when I’m authentic. Quickly, I realized I’d gotten to the raw fire but not the center of peacefulness. He didn’t deserve my rage and I apologized. Thomas had been trying so hard to support me on this bike trip that when it didn’t work as he had anticipated, he got frustrated. He thought we were going to meet at one intersection and I didn’t show up. Funny how I thought we had agreed on something else. After 23 years of marriage, again we vowed that next time we’d have clearer communication.

At the cabin I was more my true self. Engaging personally with people, touching in tender and caring ways, and willing to tell some of my raw stories. I let the shell fall away, beginning to honor the fiery inside and the center calmness.

How to work less

Clearly something needs to change, I told myself. I had a dream about blood and mucus dripping from me and I was trying to clean it off my shoes realizing, “I need to work less.” The amount of hours I work and the responsibility I feel is killing me. I find myself thinking, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a heart attack.

Something has to change. But what??  I have tried to figure this out for a few years. I feel trapped in a job that provides the benefits for the family. The things I’d prefer to do don’t provide enough income to replace the benefits and salary. I don’t see a way out of the daily grind, this trap.

I am so stuck on this question. How do I find an answer? What do I do? Like any good evolved being – whine, complain and cry. Not this time! Chakra Wisdom to the rescue. I will ask my chakras the question to get clear answers from different aspects of myself and my inner wisdom.

Great, now what is the question?  “How can I work less?” That answer is too easy – quit my job. It’s more complex than that. What does working give me that I don’t want to give up? Security. So the question is, “How can I feel more secure and work less?” But that could mean personally secure. “To trust in myself and all will be taken care of???” I’m not ready to give up the belief that some external security is needed. “Just trust myself,” doesn’t work for me. I still need money to feel secure. Okay, I will add a qualifier – “How can I feel more secure – financially and work less?” I understand it may mean I need to do less. I am a doer. Constantly filling every moment. Never enough time to do it all.

Lately, I notice I am often more stressed on my days off because I am trying to get so much done I get frazzled by the end of the day realizing I haven’t gotten to a lot of the stuff I want to do. As my work schedule has expanded into my free time the free time becomes more precious and I am less able to feel fulfilled.

Now that I have the question, I begin my Chakra Wisdom – while running. It is the time of the week when I can go for a run so I do both. I have found it is effective for me so long as I stay focused on the guided meditation. Sometimes that means replaying sections if I get distracted or stopping and writing down the answers so I don’t have to work to remember them.

Since I haven’t run in a while, tonight I was thinking of running all the way around the lake. It’s a big commitment once I start the eight mile journey. Sometimes I feel quite miserable by the time I stop. Other times I feel proud of accomplishing a big achievement. Yet, as I approach the choice point of possibly taking a shorter route I am faced with my dilemma, my question, “How to not work so hard?” The fear comes up that if I don’t commit to the longer distance, where I can’t take a short cut, I may fall short. Short? I find myself saying, “Sara, your problem is you push yourself too hard; not that you fall short.” I decide I need to listen to myself about not pressuring myself to work hard and take the shorter route. Also, with the knowledge that I can add on more loops if I feel like it as I go.

I ran, stopping and writing, dreaming about possibilities, running and asking the question in each chakra. The answers came to me. They included, to trust the universe to provide – and myself that I will provide in some way. I can let go of this being the only way. I am a worker and a doer. When I present myself to the world from a place of love and creativity I will be compensated. I have many skills that people are happy to receive. My efforts need to be redistributed to a direction of building myself rather than maintaining stability. Everything is possible. I have been holding myself back for some time so I can’t begin to imagine of what I am capable. I don’t need to know the details of – how – at this time. Through ongoing meditations, my energy work and building community, the path will become clearer.

In the end I ran farther than if I had gone around the lake. Imagine that! I let go of my fear, my pressure to achieve, and was open to possibilities. Being in the moment about what feels right and see what happens.